Damn it’s been too long

G’day guyz, been such a long time since I have done a blog. I always intend to do them regularly but never seems to happen, sorry.

Website is moving along slowly, worked on the Arts, Frame of Mind, Fan club and Sports Trainers sections, none are finished but they are getting there as is the other sections. I am in no hurry, it is a hobby site and has no time restrictions. Have put a site news section, which can be accessed through the site menu. Anyway keep tabs, might be something of interest.

Life’s pretty much the same since my last entry in November last year. Was and I guess in some ways it hasn’t been as good as I would of liked but does it ever. Still single and looking for that one man to live the rest of my life with.

Learned that no matter how long friendship can be not is always as it seems. I am a rather tolerant, patient and forgiving person but those who I thought were close friends may not be that at all. I actually feel a bit used and that some friends remain friends only to make it easier for them. They only come and see you when they want something or to do something to property they have stored at your house. It was affecting me for sometime but now although sick of the situation I am not letting it bother me and have expressed to them I want it removed as soon as possible. I am assured a place is found but needs some cleaning first, maybe that’s an excuse.

Anyway will post this and continue later. Bye for now

*hugs*

Quiet Life – Depressed One Day, OK The Next

Life’s a strange thing but its amazing how we remember each day or do we? Its strange I can remember what I did last week but can not remember I did yesterday. For me maybe it’s because each day seems to roll into the next and by the time we know it a week has passed.

Maybe for me its a matter of writing a blog everyday but might get boring as each day it’s basically ’same shit, different day’. Sometimes though like today I had a doctor’s appointment at 11:45am, got out of bed at 11am. Just time enough to have my caffeine fix, take my medication with just enough time to walking stick ‘waddle’ across the road to the doctor surgery. Had to get my result from a blood test taken last week which were a positive result, my cholesterol down from about 9.2 to 5.8 and my diabetes down from 9 to about 5, guess taking medication does help. I had this crazy idea if I stopped taking my medication it was an easy way to commit suicide. YEH I KNOW BLOODY STUPID IDEA I know but when suffering and the feeling of depression creates crazy ideas sometimes.


Changing the subject, over the past 12 months or so I been downloading Gay Themed Movies from different countries, many and varied languages. Hard when you only speak and understand English so thank god for subtitles. Currently have over 50 movies but only thanks for help from my brother seeing I struggled with internet connection especially over the last few months. It’s hard for a straight guy like my brother to download such a topic of gay love and coming out, he’s more interested in pussy ha-ha. Guess he can not help being straight, nobody is perfect – Just Kidding.


Received my pension yesterday and in less than 24 hours it’s all gone, if only didn’t have to eat. In these economic times the burden is placed on us all but I consider myself lucky. So many people have lost their homes, lost their jobs with many families living on the streets. The homeless rate of people living each day on the streets increasing it is placing immense burden on charities who are running out of accommodation places and food. In the face of all that suffering my struggles seem insignificant. I do not offer much but I donate to those people sitting out the front of shopping centres rattling their tins for donation. My offerings are only small sadly but it amazes me how our federal government opposition is going on about an increasing debt to the country in the government’s efforts to create jobs, saving jobs, trying to help the lower end of town by taking from the upper end of town. The upper end of town sure has its own worries but how sad they have to sell those luxury items, like Porsches, Yachts and Holiday Homes that is hardly doing it tough in my opinion. So rightly the Government is making them pay more to help those less fortunate.

What annoys me most is when you get these CEO’s and Executives getting million dollar handshakes and bonuses while at the same time sacking employee’s. Not long ago the CEO of Telstra receiving a 35 million dollar handshake upon leaving. Nobody is worth that, especially while in command of the telecom company where the share price and profits has decreased significantly and only one 1/4 of growth the company experience in his reign of control. It’s just ridiculous, now he’s gone back to America and now criticizes the Australian people as racist. We have many American and other nationality CEO’s overseeing many companies here and none but him have accused us of this. Sol pull your head in, you screwed up a profitable company, lowered services and you have the nerve to say things like that. His beef I believe is because Telstra which was majorly own by the Federal Government before the Howard Government sold their share to small investors at a rate much higher than the share market rate now. Sure we are in a recession but the share price loses happened mostly before the economic crisis happened.


Anyway I had my whinge and some events of my life, boring I know but who knows what will happen soon and if it seems interesting will be in another blog sometime, somewhere.

*hugs* n *kisses* to all my friends, Love Ya All

A “Fair Go” – Is that a joke?

Australia prides itself as a country that is a Democracy where everyone is Equal, where Free Speech and a “Fair Go” is embedded in our culture. It’s what our ANZAC fought for in WW1 and WW2 and still fight for in Afghanistan, Iraq and many other less talked about conflicts around the world. Australia through disasters is where we can see such spirit not like anywhere else in the world, the country as a whole come together to help those devastated by disaster.

My question here I guess, What sets us apart from Communism, Fascism, Socialism and what truly is Democracy?

Australia’s history is based on majorly on convicts coming here, populating this country, creating a society at the expense of Indigenous ownership for which we have only just said an apology for. For some historian’s, this was equalled to Australia’s own civil war, were major and bloodied battles were fought between the Aboriginal owners and White settlers. These are major events in our short history not recognised by the War Memorial in Canberra. It’s a disgrace to those who lived and fought those battles, not shared in our history books and is hidden part of Australia’s history.

Our judicial system is just a joke where a “Fair Go” is lost in political contamination, where the poor are more often discriminated against because they can not afford to pay for the “Fair Go” which often ends in imprisonment. The judicial system is suppose to be “Innocent until proven Guilty” but from my own experience your “Guilty until your prove yourself Innocent” and no matter how much you try and prove your innocence the task can seem impossible and often is. Even when you have paid for your crime by forfeiting your freedom or what ever penalty you have to pay to society you never really become free. You find when you apply for employment, entering a competition you never escape the past the crime committed and for which you have paid for and end up paying the high cost until you die. In the case of employment I must say if the business is involved in the area of where the crime was committed I can understand, e.g. stealing money by embezzlement, that person should not work in an area where they are dealing with money. I believe it is the right of the employer is to request a police clearance but only that information should be supplied relating to the type of employment, nothing else. No particulars of the crime should be disclosed.

Just goes to show, even if imprisoned and you served your time many freedoms and an individual’s privacy is lost forever. Well should say, unless your from the “big end of town” in which case more often than not, can prove their innocence even if sometimes they are guilty and have the money and connections to make that happen.

A recent example was in the television game show “Deal or No Deal” where a woman who committed and paid for her crime was asked on the application form about criminal history. What does it have to do with a television program anyway? After circling “NO” she was picked as the contestant. Was it a major factor in her being picked?, makes you wonder. Anyway, after playing and winning X amount of dollars she was made ineligible because she was convicted of a criminal offence many years earlier. Way I see it, her past is none of television stations business and had nothing to do with any crime she may of committed, for which she already paid a penalty for. She didn’t profit from the crime committed she just played a game. Her mistake was circling NO in the first place but still comes down too her freedoms and privacy. How the television station knew she had was not disclosed from memory. All I am aware of she suffered an addiction to gambling and stole money to pay for that gambling addiction. After conviction she was given help to overcome that addiction. In her case the mental health system was able to help her.

However, overall our mental health system has failed, often resulting in terrible crimes being committed that if the system was there for them in 99% of criminal and other cases would of been avoided. The closure of mental health centres, the under-staffing and reduction in mental health services have attributed to major crimes increases. Known mental health patience suffering schizophrenia, abandoned by the mental health services committing murders which as been the case most recently.

In the 80’s I was seeing a psychiatrist, I have no shame in shame in saying that, he helped me come to terms with much of my childhood and other emotional problems. In my case though it took a disgusting crime committed by me on another, which I totally accept responsibility for, even to the point of attempting a failed suicide attempt which I believed I deserved. But, that lead to the help I needed, which I believe helped me enormously. BUT once my bond was over so was the help I needed stopped too. That goes to show that the mental health system was and it has continually declined more and more over the decades.


South Australia, where I live, is only a small part of the wider Australia but is more and more becoming a police state where freedoms and the addict “A Fair Go” for all is lost. Take the case about a Thomas Easling subjected to false allegations. This was no ordinary case but was filled with police falsifying evidence, inducements to witnesses, witness intimidation even government interference. However after a long, drawn out and expensive criminal case the case was dismissed but what Tom Easling fights for now is a Royal Commission to look into the case with little interest by the government. It is not a matter of cost, the victim in this has offered to pay for it himself, of course there is no response from the government. If he didn’t have some substantial backing of well known friends and supporters he might of been a statistic of those innocent person’s convicted of crimes they didn’t commit. The case of Thomas Easling was a prime example of falsified evidence, political contamination and a certain department of the police force strived to get him convicted of a crime he was innocent of. He was one of the lucky ones, the majority do not have the representation and backing as Tom Easling did. Now the call for a Royal Commission is not going far we have a government with something to hide. Only with the Royal Commission can this injustice right be righted and see what extent of corruption lays hidden in South Australian system.


These are not isolated cases, there are many quite questionable cases out there. Another was a man arrested and charged with murder. During the court case the prosecution lead witness was found to be the actual murderer but the court case still went ahead and it was reported that this was known by the prosecutor and police involved in the case.


After lengthy researched by me I am unable to find out the result of that case but it was highlighted in a Current Affairs program but since it seems it has been swept under the carpet. I hope not as it’s a great injustice that I believe many have faced within our court system, where your “GUILTY” until you prove yourself “INNOCENT”. What does this say about a so called Democratic Society where just the basic human rights and the “Fair Go” becomes just a myth something we boast but doesn’t really exist ANYMORE.

Well hope my bitch didn’t bore you too much. Just to make it clear, I love my country and believe its one of the best in this small world but until Australia becomes a signatory of the UN mandate on human rights we have no right to criticise other countries on their poor records.

My cynical look at the world around us.

As usual not much is happening in my life, have made some new friends, some of whom would make ideal partners in life. Sadly though, through life’s irony is they seem to live overseas. The Internet has given us all an avenue to meet people and learn new cultures from all over this beautiful world to which we all live.

Sadly it’s a world divided by intolerance created I believe by the many ideals of religion. Myself although not religious, I respect other peoples beliefs but with the many radical beliefs out there based on the control of others and not because of a high spiritual belief. It is to control the way people live their lives with fear and threats of violence through torture and other inhumane means. We have even seen it in so called “Moral Countries” like America who have participated in torture, restriction of human rights yet are the first to condemn those other countries who do the same. Countries like Australia and the so called Coalitions Partners also get dirty by their hands just by association by these practices.

Anyway, It’s finally good to see a new President in the White House, let hope he can pick up the pieces and finally do some good in the world. First they have to get off their high horse and see they are not the moral guardians of the world instead maybe be one of those countries that helps guide the world as a whole with all countries participating, if America wants to take the lead chair that’s fine but the world has to work together and not for each own personal gain.

One major cause is the inequality between those rich countries and those third world countries, I believe though a lot of problems in those third world countries is the level of government corruption where monies going to them are pocketed and not used for the purposes intended. Until that changes the peoples of those countries will never improve their lives. Aid agencies have their hands tied when it comes to the aid provided but any aid needs to be taken out of governments control, which is being done but those regimes find ways around it, usually through fear and intimidation

The United Nations is a marvellous institution but has it really got any power or is it just a glorified Aid Provider? I’d like to think with almost the whole world represented there, some good could be done but not really sure anything really is, only self indulgent posturing and squabble between nations who have grudges against one another often from past history that happen decades before most of the population was even born. Some countries like China and Russia have made so many positive leaps forward but end up taking almost as many steps backwards when it comes to human rights and freedom of speech. If I have any criticism of the United Nations is their reluctance of including Homosexuality as a basic human right, probably another religion based control of our freedoms involved there too. I find it laughable that the Vatican can promote “Love Thy Neighbour, Tolerance and Understanding” yet deny equality for homosexuals and women.

If there is a God up there looking down “he, she, alien’s, hermaphrodite” whatever must be shaking their head a lot, what have we seen recently,

World Financial Crisis (caused by GREED), Floods, Droughts, Higher Temperatures, Violent Weather, Ice Age in the UK, Melting Ice Caps, Rising Sea Levels caused by Global Warming. The loss of food and other resources and now the junk yard and garbage in space surrounding us things have really been messed up.

I think God seen it all happening and is now concentrating on the rest of the universe. Well it stands to reason someone all mighty must have the ability to see the future and has just left the Earth to its own destructions, God just sits back watching the comedy channel called “Planet Earth” laughing at us.

Thinking about rising sea level, I remember the story of Noah’s Ark and how God sent down the rain to flood the world of its evil sinners. I have one question for anyone out there in Internet land hear of any big boats being built and animals being collected let me know ha-ha

Anyway people I will leave it here. Take care of yourselves and your loved one because no other bastard will.

Awaiting Appointment

After seeing my doctor last month, having the CT Scan and seeing the extent of the damage to my spine, today I received my appointment letter from the Royal Adelaide Hospital.

On the 4th of July I will see the neurosurgeon and hopefully this will lead to so kind of treatment to my lower spine. I am hoping this will enable me to finally put the last 6 years in the bin and start a new life, with focus and a positive future.

For those who don’t know I have degeneration and herniation of the lower spine basically affecting all my lumbar spine, first diagnosed about 1985. The first sign was while I was playing social tennis. Its amazing how a thing like just picking up a tennis balls can shape things to come. The damage was isolated to 2 vertebras. Little did I know a bulge disc could lead to such bad problems 22 years later.


In 2001 I had an appointment to see a neurosurgeon at the same hospital but by then the problem had become worse, now affecting 4 vertebras. The only suggestion made was a injection in that part of my spine to possibly stop the pain so I can lead a pain free life. Having been a sports trainer and doing years of study and seeing other people also go through the same treatment. I decided it was not really the solution and that it would only cause more problems in the future, particularly doing the type of work I was doing. That involved heavy lifting in work history as a storeman which is mentally and physically attacking to the body I realised even if it did work the damage done would never be repairable.


Anyway now I will go through the motions again and hope for a much better result but by my scans the damage is severe and the prospect of being wheel chair bound as time goes on become more of a possible reality. Keep your fingers crossed and hope for much better outcome.